Business Matters

Police Blotter

Arroyo Grande
•Dec. 12: A porch pirate stole a package on Dodson Way. Nothing is safe folks, have them delivered to your work place.
•Dec. 12: Someone at the Onyx Apartments on Halcyon was nailed for being too hammered to take care of himself.
•Dec. 12: A car was reportedly vandalized on the 400 block of South Elm.
•Dec. 11: Some crafty criminal made out fraudulent checks to someone and then posed as that person to cash the checks. She also used the victim’s personal information to open back accounts. And, you knew there would be more, she had a controlled substance, drug paraphernalia, stolen property and a warrant.
•Dec. 11: Some sneak broke into the Haven at Pismo building.
•Dec. 10: A man stabbed himself in the right leg in front of Walmart, no doubt a blood sacrifice to the Gods of shopping?
•Dec. 10: A juvenile cur was arrested after he allegedly hit his mother as she was driving on Highway 101 at Brisco Road.

Pismo Beach
• Dec. 12: A caller on the 300 block of Seaview reported being threatened three weeks ago by a creepy man who had been loitering around for several days and parking in the caller’s driveway.
• Dec. 12: Police were on the lookout for three men and a woman who were possible under the influence in a car on the 1300 block of Price Street, where they no doubt blended in well.
• Dec. 12: A cat on the 300 block of Pismo was reported in the gated area on an unoccupied home. The cat was in the backyard, and police determined it was okay and, perhaps, only seeking attention or, more likely, world domination.
• Dec. 12: A transient man reportedly raised a fist to an employee at Brooks Burgers. He said he would leave.
• Dec. 12: A couple of shoplifters in Tommy Hilfiger were attempting to return merchandise that they hadn’t paid for in the first place. They took off running. But police hunted ‘em down.
• Dec. 11: Someone was reportedly loitering in the area of Dolliver at Harlo for 15-20 minutes. It turns out that they were waiting for a tow truck.
• Dec. 11: A caller reported an ongoing problem with a truck driving at excessive speed while bringing dirt to a ranch near Chumash Park.
• Dec. 11: A couple of go-getters tried to use counterfeit $5 bills on the 100 block of Pomeroy, an affront to ol’ Honest Abe. They made their way through a couple of businesses, and at one the man tried to write a check, which was of course fraudulent too.
• Dec. 11: A man on Oak Park near OSH, bi-gosh, was reportedly holding a sign that said, “Need weed.” Ol’ Cheech appeared to be holding the hand of a young child laying face down on the cement. Turned out it was a mannequin, which is still creepy, hey, roll me up another one…
• Dec. 11: All agencies were on the lookout for a car associated with the break-in of a mobile marijuana delivery service car in the Costco shopping center. The thieves made off with an undisclosed about of Mary Jane.
• Dec. 11: A driver on the 100 block of Esparto was reportedly driving slowly in circles. Everything checked out okay — the slow donut turner was gawking at Christmas lights.
• Dec. 10: An occupied vehicle in front of Model Drug appeared suspicious. The person inside was checking their phone messages.
• Dec. 8: Two men and a woman who reportedly got into a fight at the Adams’ Motel checked out okay.
•Dec. 8: A transient trespassing at the Quality Inn was given the boot after guests complained.
•Dec. 8: An unlocked car with the keys in it was stolen on the 200 block of Santa Fe. Meanwhile, on the 300 block, a mailbox was broken into overnight and another one was damaged.
•Dec. 8: A man with a metal can was kicking things and yelling in front of the Police Department parking annex. He said that something had been installed inside his head. He was taken to Sierra Vista for medical clearance and then was taken to County Jail, provided his head proves empty.

San Luis Obispo
• Dec. 15: The motion burglar alarm went off twice, at 4:10 and 5:29 a.m. at the City’s parking department office on Chorro. Of course the thing was broke or maybe they got rats.
• Dec. 15: A citizen called at 3:56 a.m. from Prado and Higuera and said a woman was screaming for “HELP!” down by the creek.
• Dec. 15: Police were called at 1:07 a.m. to a fight in the 700 block of Higuera at the Library. Some ruffian had a glowworm down on the ground. No arrests, as the fight was apparently a draw.
• Dec. 15: A citizen in the 800 block of Basil called at 12:18 a.m. about an ongoing problem of some rag picker going through his trash on trash days, ‘cause only the garbage company gets to cash in CRVs.
• Dec. 15: Some bull was messing around at the Buffalo Bar & Grill at 11:35 p.m. so the police were called to deliver the horn.
• Dec. 14: A woman in the 1500 block of El Tigre called at 10 p.m. and said her ex, that she has a restraining order against, showed up at her house, and won’t police come run him off?
• Dec. 14: A woman called at 9:23 p.m. from the 1300 block of Alder and said she left her 36” TV outside her bedroom window and of course now it’s gone.
• Dec. 14: Porch pirates stole four packages from a home in the 1700 block of Pinecove.
• Dec. 14: A citizen called at 6:47 p.m. at Mission Plaza and said some low life with a pit bull just punched a woman in the face. When police arrived 5 minutes later, they’d gone.
• Dec. 14: A disturbing landlord vs. tenant verbal dispute brought the police at 5 p.m. in the 2500 block of Johnson.
• Dec. 14: Police responded at 3:48 p.m. to an injury, car vs. building crash at McCarthy Auto Exchange car lot on Higuera. A 70-year-old fellow was arrested for suspicion of driving sideways.
• Dec. 14: Police were called at 2:30 to Mitchell Park where some dastardly fellow was sitting in the middle of the park under a sycamore tree having a beer.
• Dec. 14: Police were called at 1:51 p.m. to the 1900 block of Oceanaire where some drugged-up dingus was pacing back and forth screaming his fool head off. He had the good sense to split before police arrived.
• Dec. 14: At 1:52 p.m. someone reported a trashcan fire in Santa Rosa Park. The fire department handled it and logs said, “ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.”
• Dec. 14: The poor clerk at 7-Eleven on California had some irate transient throw a can at him. The rouge, 33, was arrested for suspicion of battery.
• Dec. 14: At 1 p.m. a citizen at Oceanaire and Cayucos reported a man moaning and screaming in the bushes behind the houses.
• Dec. 14: A man at Tidelands Counseling in the 1400 block of Marsh reported getting threats from a client’s husband warning him to stop seeing his client, perhaps sound advice these days, depending on the definition of “seeing.”
• Dec. 14: Police were called at 11:42 a.m. to Tanglewood and Lawnwood after a tree jumped in front of a car. No injuries reported.
• Dec. 14: Police responded to a disturbance at target where a man had locked himself in a bathroom stall and was causing quite a scene. Officers apparently flushed him out.
• Dec. 14: Police responded to a disturbance at the SLO Student Living housing asylum. They arrested an 18-year-old man for suspicion of cohabitant abuse and spousal battery.
• Dec. 14: Someone burgled a car in a carport right outside an apartment in the 1400 block of Morro.
• Dec. 14-15: Police, on stepped up DUI saturation patrols, made at least five DUI arrests during this one 12-hour shift.

Morro Bay
• Dec. 10: At 11:33 a.m. in the 1700 block of Embarcadero police contacted an apparently popular fella, 45, and arrested him for a felony warrant.
• Dec. 9: Someone turned in a bicycle found in the 2600 block of Main and police are riding it around now. Another bike was found at Tide and Whidbey.
• Dec. 9: Police impounded an unregistered car in the 700 block of Quintana, as the DMV beast simply has to be fed.
• Dec. 8: Police responded lights and sirens at 9:49 p.m. to a disturbance at a watering hole in the 900 block of Main. A 63-year-old bent fellow went to the hoosegow for flapping-out in public.
• Dec. 8: Police contacted a man at the police station on MBB with a bench warrant out of Kern County. He was cited and released no doubt soon to have a FTA out of SLO County. On the 7th they encountered another model citizen, 31, in the 900 block of Embarcadero and he had two bench warrants. They released the little fish with a solemn promise to appear, this time, for sure…
• Dec. 7: Police contacted a suspicious pair at 5:11 p.m. in the 900 block of Main. A man, 34, and woman, 31 were arrested for suspicion of being higher than the stacks on some undisclosed illegal drugs. The all stars were nicked.
• Dec. 6: Police responded to the 700 block of Morro Ave. where they arrested a man for suspicion of forcible rape.
• Dec. 6: Police responded to a traffic collision at 6 p.m. on Zanzibar Terrace. They arrested a woman driver for suspicion of driving wrecked and wrecking.
• Dec. 6: Police and fire responded at 11:31 a.m. to South Bay and Quintana for yet another traffic collision. No report on injuries.
• Dec. 6: Police responded to a reported vandalism at 7:30 a.m. in the 400 block of LaJolla. Logs indicated a juvenile boy, tossin’ an apparent fit, broke the caller’s cell phone. Police decided the young man was “beyond parental control” and the miscreant was arrested.
• Dec. 5: The war on drugs continued unabated as police arrested an allegedly juiced up fellow at 1:50 p.m. in the 700 block of Pacific. Then at 4 p.m. at Kings and Quintana they popped another citizen of the year on “drug related offences.” And they got the day off to a great start at 9 a.m. when they picked up a woman, 37, at Rite Aid caught with sticky fingers, who later was found to allegedly have a syringe and suspected drugs in her possession.
• Dec. 4: Police responded at 4 p.m. to the 500 block of Napa where they filed “an incident report for insurance purposed regarding a civil matter.” And on Dec. 6, in a classic case of deja-moo or, this crap’s happened before, a suspicious man was reportedly trespassing at the same house on Napa. The zig-zagged fellow was arrested for UTI.
• Dec. 4: Police documented a case of an ongoing dispute between co-workers at an undisclosed business in town.
• Dec. 4: Police responded to the 1600 block of Embarcadero down by Morro Creek, where some unknown scoundrel stole two gas cans, and let’s hope it was to get out of town.
• Dec. 3: Police stopped a speeding car at 5 p.m. at Main and Radcliffe. Logs indicated the lead-footed driver, 42, was cited for speeding and because the tags on the car were expired, a tow truck was called and the fellow made a pedestrian.
• Dec. 3: Someone thief stole a ring from a store in the 900 block of Embarcadero.
• Dec. 3: Two cars went boom at 10:35 a.m. at Elena and Main. No injuries reported in the carnage.
• Dec. 3: Two bicycles were found, down by Morro Creek, near Ironwood and Hwy 41. More interesting was the discovery Dec. 2 of a semi-automatic handgun wrapped in a beach bag on Chevron Dog Beach off Toro Lane.
• Dec. 2: Vandals struck in the 1100 block of Main and the rascal will probably get away with it too.
• Dec. 2: Some no doubt incompetent thief tried to steal something in the 100 block of Atascadero Rd. A more adept thief stole a license plate off a car in the 1900 block of Main.
• Dec. 1: Someone reported threats being slung around in the 1200 block of Embarcadero.
• Dec. 1: Police roused an urban camper bedded down at 3 a.m. in the 500 block of Harbor. The 31-year-old apparent vagabond was cited for sleeping where they can’t collect a bed tax for the second time in a few days, as he got another ticket on Nov. 29 a few blocks down on Napa.
• Nov. 31: Police contacted another suspicious at 4:30 p.m. in the 700 block of Quintana and arrested bunny and clod for undisclosed “drug related charges.”
• Nov. 30: Police responded to the 400 block of Pacific where some master criminal walked into an open garage and stole items out of a convertible, apparently parked with the top down.
• Nov. 30: A fellow on Orcas told police he’d gotten into it with his parents.
• Nov. 28: Police responded to a disturbance at 4:19 p.m. in the 300 block of Surf. A 36-year-old chick was nicked for being forshnicked.
• Nov. 28: A citizen in the 1300 block of Berwick reported identity theft and we have no idea who they are now. In an unrelated case, a citizen in the 100 block of Atascadero Road had his tools stolen. Also, a business in the 1100 block of Allesandro was burgled.
• Nov. 27: Police started an investigation into financial elder abuse in the 1400 block of Teresa Dr. Another case came in for the same despicable acts in the 2000 block of Alder.
• Nov. 27: Someone found a wallet with the ID of someone from British Columbia, which is up ‘dere in Canada, aye!

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