Business Matters

Police Blotter

Arroyo Grande
• Feb. 15: Child Protective Services software picked up an Atascadero user sharing child pornography through the BitTorrent Network. Even tech trickery can’t shield you from the law; the loser user was flagged for follow up.
• Feb. 16: Police nabbed a DUI dummy that wrecked his own car and fled the scene. He didn’t go very far and got nabbed for the nip.
• Feb. 16: Who let the dogs out? Well, the police did at Arroyo Grande High School for a pre-planned narcotics search and sniff test. Multiple police pooches scoured the schoolyard for sinful substances.
• Feb. 18: A customer lost is wallet at Last Chance Liquor. But he got a second chance at sparing his bank account because the wallet weasel couldn’t get the debit card to make unlawful purchases the next day, a case of “Curses! Foiled again!!!”

Morro Bay
• Feb. 19: Police are investigating a reported case of sexual assault on Luzon St.
• Feb. 19: Police responded at 5:46 p.m. to the 700 block of Embarcadero, there they nicked a 78-year-old bent fellow for being juiced where tourists can see him.
• Feb. 19: Police pulled over a suspicious vehicle at 1:49 p.m. on Hwy 1 at Main Street. The driver, 59, was arrested for suspicion of driving on a toot.
• Feb. 19: At 9:39 a.m. police came across a homeless woman in Lila Keiser Park who had three bench warrants. She was checked into the SLO County B&B with an illegal camping charge added to her woes.
• Feb. 19: Someone called at 6:24 a.m. to report a burglary at Taco Bell in the 1700 block of Main. Police are hunting the Chalupa.
• Feb. 18: Police contacted a regular customer at 2 p.m. in the 2600 block of Main. The 47-year-old scofflaw had a bench warrant and she was swept off to the hoosegow.
• Feb. 17: Police are investigating a reported hit-n-split at Atascadero Road and Main.
• Feb. 17: Someone reportedly found a surfer-less surfboard in the 1200 block of Embarcadero.
• Feb. 17: Police responded at 5:24 p.m. to a traffic accident at Hwy 1 and San Jacinto. According to logs, one driver hit a triple — felony DUI with a crash, possession of a butterfly knife, and two arrest warrants.
• Feb. 17: Another crash happened at 11:12 a.m. out at Morro Rock, as two cars tried to occupy the same space at the same time. No injuries or arrests reported.
• Feb. 17: Some pest was hassling the good folks at Albertsons. Police arrested the clown, 41, for disorderly conduct
• Feb. 17: Police contacted some apparently disagreeable homeless fellow at 1 a.m. at the Community Center. He was arrested for suspicion of possession of drugs and resisting the wake-up call of police.
• Feb. 16: Someone burglarized a car parked in the lot at Aida’s Floor Covering store in the 300 block of Quintana. In another vehicular matter, police towed off a RV trailer from the 1100 block of Quintana because the owner hadn’t given the DMV its pound of flesh since May 2017.
• Feb. 16: Police started event No. 18012142 a “General Incident” involving an “Officer safety incident report,” the second such report within a couple of weeks.
• Feb. 15: Police responded at 11:42 a.m. to the 1600 block of Main for a case of larceny. Apparently a citizen had met the suspect for an arranged deal over Craig’s List for some camera gear but instead of paying for the lenses, the scoundrel ran off with them, showing once again what a resource Craig’s List is… for crooks.
• Feb. 14: Police contacted a regular customer at 11:44 a.m. at the Boat Yard in the 800 block of Embarcadero and the 43-year-old was jammed up for a bench warrant.
• Feb. 14: Yet another crash led to the arrest of a soaked driver, this time at 12:22 a.m. on Park View Drive.
• Feb. 13: Police contacted a familiar face at noon in the 400 block of Napa. He too had a date with a judge that he’d neglected.
• Feb. 12: Someone found two, probably stolen, bicycles abandoned in Lila Keiser Park, which means the thieves will be hunting up fresh wheels.
• Feb. 12: Police responded at 1:21 p.m. to a disturbance in the 500 block of Downing St., and took a report on suspected battery for the D.A. to review.
• Feb. 9: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle on Hwy 1 at San Jacinto. The 20-year-old borracho driving was arrested for suspicion of being deep in his cups.
• Feb. 9: Police cited a high school kid for alleged possession of the evil weed at Morro Bay High School. He or she’s no doubt made the Dean’s list now.
• Feb. 8: According to logs, some unknown person dropped off unnamed property at the stationhouse, found at an undisclosed location. The day before, another unknown person turned in an un-described property found at some unknown location.
• Feb. 8: Police called out the Coroner’s Office twice within five hours after discovery of deceased citizens at 12:38 p.m. and 3:37 p.m. on Alder and LaJolla streets respectively.
• Feb. 8: Police contacted a suspicious subject at 10 a.m. in the 900 block of MBB. The 35-year-old apparently sloppy fellow was allegedly high on drugs and was cited and released, his buzz no doubt killed.
• Feb. 8: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 8:30 a.m. in the 1700 block of Main. The driver, 52, was arrested for suspicion of driving UTI on undisclosed drugs. The all star went to the hoosegow.
• Feb. 7: At 4:28 p.m. police got a report of two men inside the Post Office disturbing the peace by videoing people against their wishes and logs indicated the patrol was to follow up on the matter.
• Feb. 7: Police contacted 46-year-old man in the 700 block of Quintana. He was cited and released for suspicion of having drug paraphernalia, his stash apparently run dry.
• Feb. 7: Someone turned in a ring they found at the Atascadero Road beach access.
• Feb. 7: Police responded at 12:37 p.m. to a disturbance in the 1100 block of Main. Logs indicated a 46-year-old hothead was arrested for walking through a restraining order, drug possession and paraphernalia, which explains a lot.
• Feb. 7: Police contacted a probationer, 36, at 8:14 a.m. in the 300 block of Sequoia and arrested him on suspicion of possessing meth and a crack pipe, and a felony probation violation.
• Feb. 6: Someone turned in a firearm for destruction that they were shooting to be rid of.
• Feb. 6: Some scalawag looted a commercial fishing boat in the 1100 block of Embarcadero out of some undisclosed treasure. And someone got into a tool shed in the 300 block of Orcas and stole something else, probably tools.
• Feb. 6: At 11:12 a.m. police documented the detention of a pesky fellow videoing in and around the police station after he declined to produce identification when asked for it by two officers. The takedown was filmed and broadcast on YouTube. He was detained in handcuffs for a time and eventually let go, and the incident documented for the inevitable lawsuit to follow. Meanwhile, the crime wave continued in Mayberry… someone stole a bicycle from the 400 block of Pacific, and a diamond wedding ring was removed from a baby carriage at the Azure Dunes beach access.

Pismo Beach
• Feb. 18: Move along, nothing to see here… A Fox 11 news car caused a suspicious circumstances call to police. The car was seen idling in the parking lot near Starbucks for an hour. Police found the intrepid reporter inside using the WiFi.
• Feb. 18: A toddler in the Pismo Dunes RV Park caused a scare when he scampered away unnoticed. The little one wearing the orange onesie was found wandering the park minutes later. No doubt he’ll be on a shorter leash from now on.
• Feb. 19: Nothing like the early morning sound of a vacuum to set off a shouting match between neighbors. Police were called to mediate the verbal dispute. The neighbor claimed the rude rug ruckus was rousing her guests. Hopefully, the hard feelings can be swept under the rug.
• Feb. 19: They say good fences make good neighbors; so do good leashes. A resident in a mobile home park requested police assistance after a neighbor’s dog took a bite following a verbal dispute between the human mutts.
• Feb. 19: Nothing angers an innkeeper more than a stay with no pay. That’s what one clerk told police happened when a recent guest left without covering the bill. She’s no longer welcome at the establishment, but apparently Fresno County authorities would like to house her in the clink.
• Feb. 19: A beachside hotel reported four juveniles in the spa area without a room reservation. Told to leave, the defiant miscreants refused. Police were en route to nab the wet scamps.
• Feb. 20: A popular sunglass store clerk reported a run in with Russians. A pair of late 30s-looking comrades absconded with four pairs of high-end sunglasses. No word yet if the cops were able to throw shade on the Crazy Ivans.
• Feb. 20: Girlfriend reported receiving a text from her boyfriend, threatening to jump off the cliff at Dinosaur Caves Park. She called his phone but it goes to voicemail. Police investigated and found the text tyrant at home, asleep on the couch.
• Feb. 21: A diesel truck pulling a flatbed trailer got a quick car wash and hit the road southbound on Highway 101 after sheering off a fire hydrant near the corner of 4th Street and Five Cities Drive. The CHP was on the lookout to make sure the driver got the car freshener he deserved.
• Feb. 21: Report of a four-wheeled pedal surrey sashaying down the boardwalk. No word on a citation for the boardwalk-blocking scofflaw.

San Luis Obispo
• Feb. 23: At 2:47 a.m. someone in the 1400 block of Slack had complained about loud music and loud talking but police let them off with a warning to cease and de-shut up. Police were called back to the same area at 5 a.m. to check the welfare of someone in apparent distress. The 23-year old tomato was nicked for being stewed.
• Feb. 23: Police were called at 1:57 a.m. to the 500 block of Dana for a reported prowler creeping around. They arrested a 21-year-old man for suspicion of being perved in public. He was also treated by paramedics for a cut to his hand, as apparently some fences bite.
• Feb. 23: Police were called at 4 a.m. to the 300 block of Santa Rosa where some joker was being a boor at Jack in the Box. The weasel split before they could pop him.
• Feb. 23: Police were called to a robbery in progress at 3:37 a.m. in the 200 block of Madonna as someone took a crowbar to a vending machine at the unfortunately named Vagabond Inn. Logs indicated the vandals departed before they arrived.
• Feb. 23: Police responded at 1:23 a.m. to a mobile home park in the 3800 block of S. Higuera for a crash. They arrested a 19-year-old hombre for suspicion of driving on a toot. A second borracho, also 19, was arrested for being schnockered.
• Feb. 23: Police met up with security guards at 12:14 a.m. at the SLO Student Living housing asylum in the 1000 block of Foothill for a noisy party. They wound up citing a 21-year-old Cal Poly student for violating the no-fun-anywhere-anytime ordinance.
• Feb. 22: Police were called to a suspicious subject at 10:50 p.m. in the 700 block of Marsh. They arrested a 25-year-old apparent ruffian for suspicion of being bent in public and fighting with the cops. And speaking of misbehaving pachucos, Habit Burger called the cops at 10:39 p.m. to report four Hispanic men in their 20s pulled a chew ‘n screw. An employee confronted them outside but they got in a car and fled.
• Feb. 22: Police were called at 10:39 p.m. by someone at Laguna Middle School reporting an apparent homeless fellow sleeping out behind the building by the football field. He was gone when they arrived 8 minutes later or maybe hiding.
• Feb. 22: Someone had his or her silver BMW towed off from the 1200 block of Garden for parking in the Broadway Management Group’s space. They also towed off a VW Passat from the same area.
• Feb. 22: Police were called at 8:55 p.m. to the 900 block of Orcutt for loud talking and loud music, which ought to be expected at a place called, Bang the Drum. They issued a stern warning over the din to the 75 people in the house.
• Feb. 22: Police were called at 7 p.m. to the 600 block of Higuera to give the boot to a homeless guy setting up camp outside Helping Hand. They cited the poor zhlub for an open container.
• Feb. 22: Police responded at 5:23 p.m. to the 1500 block of Froom Ranch Rd., for a report that a Home Depot employee was attacked by an apparently dissatisfied customer.
• Feb. 22: Police were asked at 4:12 p.m. to check the welfare of an elderly citizen in the 1700 block of San Luis who was laying oddly on the front lawn.
• Feb. 22: At 3:22 p.m. police responded to another dine ‘n dash this time in the 1200 block of Marsh at Yanagi Sushi Bar. An employee reportedly gave chase to the scrounger but he apparently got away.
• Feb 22: Someone turned in a passport he or she found in Bubble Gum Alley, the secret entrance to Dante’s Inferno.
• Feb. 22: Police were called at 2:23 p.m. to a disturbance in the 300 block of Buchon. According to logs a man and woman had been arguing for a whole 3 minutes and the caller’s had enough already.
• Feb. 22: Someone called at 1:24 p.m. from Broad at Industrial Way to report an apparent bike crash. A man was laid out on the sidewalk and his bike was in a heap against the curb.
• Feb. 22: Police were called at 11:30 a.m. to the 2900 block of Broad where a man went berserk and threw a beer glass and broke it, before stomping out of Taste Catering and Eatery. Police are investigating it as a con game to apparently steal a free meal.
• Feb. 22: Some narc called police at 11:09 a.m. at Costco and said a guy was smoking the evil weed in the parking lot and then drove off in a black Honda, in this week’s example of why we need SWAT.
• Feb. 22: Police responded at 10 a.m. to Starbucks on Madonna after someone found two hypodermic syringes in the bathroom and said teenagers had just been in there.
• Feb. 22: The folks at Panera Bread on Madonna called at 9:56 a.m. to report some slacker was passed out on their patio.
• Feb. 22: Police were notified of a suspicious white woman in her 40s, wearing a red beanie, and sweatshirt, pushing a shopping cart in the 3400 block of S. Higuera outside the County Social Services Building.
• Feb. 22: Folks in the 800 block of Higuera complained about a troubled fellow pacing up and down Higuera Street outside Victoria’s Secret.

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