Business Matters

Police Blotter

Arroyo Grande
• Feb. 27: Suitcase found; clothing inside; wearer unknown.
• Feb. 27: A person left her disabled vehicle in a friend’s driveway with permission. She returned to get the vehicle but it was gone. Hmmm.
• Feb. 28: Kudos to Arroyo Grande Police Department for its use of forgotten terms in a recent police report where they stated, “Subject swindled due to a fraud scheme.” We don’t often see or hear the use of the word swindled much any more.
• Feb. 28: We don’t know if the mystery behind Victoria’s Secret was ever revealed, but a handbag by the same name was found on Whiteley Street.
• Feb. 28: A creepy man who continues to make contact with a juvenile girl didn’t heed the warning by a social worker, so AGPD was asked to make the point more persuasively.
• March 2: A male driver wrecked his vehicle and fled the scene. Police used the junker to find the junkie, who was allegedly under the influence of drugs — possibly heroin — and in possession of drug paraphernalia.
• March 8: A woman woke up to her boyfriend of five years choking her. The unhappy couple has a child in common. Luckily, the woman fled to an adjacent room occupied by the suspect’s father.

Morro Bay
• March 3: Police were called at 5:38 p.m. to a bar fight at Legend’s Tavern corner of Harbor and Main. Logs indicated four ruffians were involved in the scuffle, and of course no one wanted to press charges, another case of no blood no foul.
• March 2: Someone found a set of keys and gave them to police to unlock the mystery.
• March 2: Police contacted a suspicious subject at 8:35 p.m. somewhere in town and shuffled the card to jail with a pair of bench warrants.
• March 2: Police responded at 1:35 p.m. to Bayshore Bluffs Park for another disturbance. Logs indicated they arrested one pugilist for alleged assault.
• March 2: Police responded to another disorderly complaint at 12:31 a.m. in the 900 block of Main. They arrested a 26-year-old Jose Palooka for suspicion of being polluted.
• March 1: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 4:30 p.m. in the 500 block of Quintana and arrested the driver for a suspended license and threw his car into the poky too.
• Feb. 28: An out of town police agency notified MBPD of a forcible rape that allegedly occurred in Morro Bay.
• Feb. 28: Someone tried to pass a bogus check at the Wells Fargo Branch located inside Albertson’s Market, as the giant bank’s woes continue. The day before, police went to Albertson’s for a report of some kiter cashing fraudulent checks.
• Feb. 27: Police responded at 10 a.m. to a crash-n-dash in the 200 block of Atascadero Rd. At 5:38 p.m. they went to the beach access at the end of Atascadero Road for a second hit-n-split crash.
• Feb. 27: Police went to the 3300 block of Panorama to serve a felony arrest warrant and a 50-year-old rapscallion went to jail.
• Feb. 27: Someone at the high school found a camera bag filled with electronics and police have it now.
• Feb. 27: Someone reported a disturbance at 10 p.m. in the 700 block of Pacific. A 54-year-old banshee was arrested for suspicion of being deep in her cups.
• Feb. 25: Police contacted a familiar face at 3:50 p.m. in the 200 block of Atascadero. The 57-year-old had an invite from the judge but apparently forgot to RSVP.
• Feb. 25: Police responded to the 900 block of Las Tunas on a narcotics investigation. Logs indicated they arrested a 29-year old model citizen for suspicion of being high on drugs.
• Feb. 24: Police conducted another narcotics investigation this time at 8:35 p.m. in the 700 block of Quintana and arrested two naughty boys — one for suspicion of being higher than the stacks on drugs and the other on a felony warrant, no doubt for drugs, as well.
• Feb. 23: Two cars went boom at 1:17 p.m. at Morro Bay Boulevard and Shasta.
• Feb. 23: Police were called at 1:32 p.m. from a woman at Morro Rock who said she was watching some unknown scalawag drive off in her car. Logs indicated they located the abandoned car a few minutes later and not far away from where it was stolen. The joy-riding thief apparently crashed and damaged the front bumper.
• Feb. 22: Police rousted a homeless fellow at 3:45 p.m. in the vicinity of Atascadero Road and Ironwood Avenue. He was cited for illegal lodging, essentially for being homeless.
• Feb. 21: Police took a late report of simple battery in the 200 block of Harbor. No word on who got battered or did the battering.
• Feb. 21: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle out at the suspect time of 2:39 a.m. driving on Coleman Drive out by the Rock. The woman driver was arrested for suspicion of driving kootered.
• Feb. 20: A citizen in the 1100 block of Monterey said some scrounger stole the tail lamp assembly from his truck, proving once again that people will steal anything.
• Feb. 20: Police contacted a suspicious woman at 4:47 p.m. in the 400 block of Nassau. Logs indicated the 33-year-old hellion was arrested for suspicion of resisting arrest and two bench warrants, which might explain her aversion to the cuffs.

Pismo Beach
• March 2: A resident reported being scammed online. The person attempted to sign up for Spotify (a popular music streaming service) using a number they found on Google (a popular internet search engine). The number apparently led the person to an unscrupulous lot who wasn’t actually Spotify. They took the person’s credit card information and made a few unauthorized Internet purchases of their own. Cue sad music…
• March 2: Nine-one-one call from a cell phone without an active service. Female voice said a man was holding her against her will. A voice is heard saying to “Start the car,” then cursing. Call ends. Dispatchers call the line again but the number is disconnected. Dispatch calls AT&T, which the service provider says will respond in “20 minutes to 2 hours.” Two hours later, they identified the serial number, but the former customer is not from AT&T, so no further details were available. Still no word on the call for help.
• March 2: A security guard spied a gloved man checking vehicle door handles near the Kon Tiki Inn. Police were called but the hooded suspect went into hiding. The cat-and-mouse game went on for 22 minutes before the suspect was rounded up at gunpoint.
• March 4: An unwanted, repeat customer of Famous Footwear caught the attention of an employee who called security on the sticky-fingered shopper. Police cornered the suspect and pointed him to the exit.
• March 4: If the butterflies could speak, they would say “Don’t dump on us.” But that’s exactly what some thoughtless miscreants in a black Ford F-150 did to the winged wonders when they dropped their garbage off at the Butterfly Grove.
March 4: A camper at Pismo Coast Village reported several items missing from a camp trailer that occurred while it was in storage. Police are waiting on an itemized list of the burgled belongings.

San Luis Obispo
• March 7: Police responded at 6:39 a.m. to a complaint about a homeless woman discovered outside the County Social Services Building in the 3400 block of Higuera, as yet another is ejected through the cracks in the system.
• March 7: Police were called at 6:21 a.m. to Tank Farm and Orcutt Roads where someone said there’s either a pile of dirty clothes or a dead body laying by the side of the road. It was apparently the former.
• March 7: Some dingus was causing a ruckus at 12:38 a.m. at Higuera and Chorro. The 55-year-old apparent stumblebum was arrested for suspicion of being tore up from the floor up.
• March 6: Police responded at 10:42 p.m. to the 900 block of Foothill for a report of a drunk and unruly customer refusing to pay his tab or to get the hell out. The mulish piflicated fellow took off before police arrived, but apparently paid his tab first.
• March 6: Police got a call at 10:41 p.m. from someone with the Family Care Network, regarding a person missing from the 3000 block of Augusta.
• March 6: Police were called at 10:21 p.m. to the 1900 block of Loomis for a complaint about a man and woman sleeping in a 1970s RV POS. Earlier, at 6:48 p.m. the same couple was having a row and police broke it up.
• March 6: Police were called at 9:38 p.m. to the 1300 block of Madonna for a report of some Hoss acting crazy and yelling at people through the window at the Launderosa.
• March 6: A citizen complained at 7:41 p.m. in the 800 block of Upham about loud music and several loud ding-dongs playing Ping Pong on the patio of the Kappa Chi Fraternity. Logs indicated there was no crime in that.
• March 6: Police were called at 7:38 p.m. to the 2400 block of Victoria where four transients were camped out and being loud behind the Natural Foods Co-Op store. One had a warrant, and was nicked.
• March 6: A citizen called at 6:28 p.m. in the 900 block of Southwood and said the pump at Sinsheimer Pool was “squealing really bad,” in this week’s example of why we need SWAT.
• March 6: Police were called at 4:35 p.m. to the first block of Broad after a resident had “walked off campus” at the Garden Creek group home. She was last seen at happy hour, which explains a lot. The wavy wanderer was apparently found safe, if not entirely sound.
• March 6: Police responded at 3 p.m. to the 1000 block of Foothill where a tenant was in the office complaining about the lease rates at The SLO Student Living housing asylum.
• March 6: Police were called at 3 p.m. to the 200 block of Madonna where some creepy dude, who looks fried on drugs, was standing outside yelling and leering in the window of Christians Mattress Express.
• March 6: Dispatch got a report at 2:24 p.m. of a medical emergency at Palm and Osos, where some poor suffering soul was in pain and unable to walk due to arthritis.
• March 6: Police were called regarding a disturbance at 1:35 p.m. in the 700 block of Higuera. An apparently crazed fellow was standing outside the AT&T Store and screaming, no doubt, “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW!?!” At 1:29 p.m. they’d gotten a complaint about a transient woman in the 800 block of Higuera yelling at people and apparently telling lies about Express.
• March 6: A couple of deplorables were trading insults at the Palm and Osos Transit Center, and scaring the straights. Neither wanted to press charges and the face off was declared a draw.
• March 6: Police got a silent panic alarm from someone at a residence in the 600 block of Monterey. It was human error, like the boy who cried wolf.
• March 6: Someone in the 1700 block of San Luis called at 11:13 a.m. to report an accident. A truck ran over a fire hydrant and the hydrant hit the side of the caller’s house. Public works and the fire department were called out.
• March 6: At 11:10 a.m. police got a 9-1-1 call from the 1600 block of Monterey because a guest had checked out but refuses to leave his room at the Villa San Luis. Police cleared out the squatter.
• March 6: Police responded at 11 a.m. to the 3200 block of Higuera for a report of some irate taxpayer making veiled threats at the Social Security Office.
• March 6: Police were called at 8:38 a.m. to the 700 block of Higuera for a “super dirty bum w/ no teeth” was causing havoc at Fanny Wrappers lingerie shop.

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