Police Blotter

August 6 – 26

Arroyo Grande

• Aug. 26: A 24-year-old man passed away at the Best Western. No foul play is suspected.

• Aug. 25: A woman was arrested for shoplifting at Food 4 Less. She also had three outstanding warrants, which doesn’t make her very outstanding.

• Aug. 25: Some crafty, yet clean, thief stole a vacuum cleaner and spray paint from Walmart and made off into the sunset.

• Aug. 22: Some guy on the 300 block of Halcyon was determined to be too smashed to care for himself. No doubt he will be well taken care of at Parkinson Plaza.

• Aug. 20: An unknown person stole a credit card from someone on Spruce. The thief was able to rent a car and charged more than $3,000 before the scoundrel’s dastardly deeds were stopped.


Morro Bay

• Aug. 20: Police responded at 8:22 p.m. to South Bay and Quintana for a 2-car collusion. No injuries reported and no Russian interference is suspected.

• Aug. 19: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 9:21 p.m. at Shasta and MBB. Logs indicated the naughty boy was arrested for suspicion of driving honked, while his license was yanked for DUI and disrupting the time-space continuum.

• Aug. 19: Police responded to a home in the 1200 block of Main at 9:44 a.m. for a reported case of violation of privacy. A report was sent to the D.A. for a peek.

• Aug. 19: A citizen reported his or her bike was stolen from the 1700 block of Embarcadero but it was later recovered, so never mind.

• Aug. 18: Police towed a vehicle from Quintana Place and Main for expired tags, not the way to avoid those DMV lines.

• Aug. 17: Police contacted a regular customer, 30, at 9:57 p.m. at Atascadero Road and Main, the heart of the honey hole of criminality. He had an arrest warrant and so of course was cited and released with his next FTA warrant in hand.

• Aug. 17: Police are investigating an honest-to-God crime — a burglary to a locked home — in the 700 block of Cuesta.

• Aug. 17: A citizen in the 500 block of Main reported vandalism to his or her vehicle.

• Aug. 16: Police responded at 7:47 p.m. to the 2000 block of Alder for a report of a transient man living in an elderly couple’s backyard shed for free, when they could no doubt be getting $1,250 a month.

• Aug. 16: Someone in the 800 block of Embarcadero had his or her bike stolen. On the other hand, someone found a bike in the 600 block of Atascadero Rd. Two other bikes were found in the 300 block of MBB, and at Ironwood and Sequoia the day before.

• Aug. 16: Someone reported a disturbance at 3:30 a.m. in the 1100 block of Napa. Logs indicated police arrested an urban survivalist, 45, for suspicion of illegally camping on earth.

• Aug. 15: Someone reported a smash-n-dash accident at Kings and Pacific.

• Aug. 14: Another drunk and disorderly woman was reported raising a ruckus at 11:08 p.m. in the 900 block of Piney Way. The 67-year old was cite-released for suspicion of illegal camping.

• Aug. 14: A burglary was reported in the 2200 block of Emerald. Police will follow the yellow brick road.

• Aug. 13: At 10:11 p.m. in the 900 block of Piney Way, yet another apparently homeless fellow, 51, was cite-released for allegedly sleeping where they can’t collect a tax.

• Aug. 13: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 2:51 p.m. at Main and Nassau. Logs indicated the driver, 40, was arrested for suspicion of driving while flyin’ on drugs and the passenger, 37, had a felony warrant. When they searched the passenger’s backpack, they allegedly found suspected meth and a glass hookah pipe, adding considerably to his woes.

• Aug. 13: Police and fire responded at 7:57 a.m. to Beach and West for a 2-car collision and no doubt the perfect end to another fabulous vacation.

• Aug. 12: Police and fire responded at 5:20 p.m. for a rollover car crash at Atascadero Road and Park Street, not a particularly treacherous stretch of road.

• Aug. 12: Some concerned citizen called in a disturbance at 9:15 a.m. in the 700 block of Morro Bay Blvd. A 67-year-old bent woman was arrested for suspicion of being on the razzle and was taken to go sleep it off. It was her second brush with fame in as many days, as on Aug. 11, at 7:21 p.m. in the 600 block of the Boulevard, she was allegedly a bit legless once again and officers booked her.

• Aug. 11: Some scoundrel burgled a locked vehicle in the 800 block of Market.

• Aug. 11: Police “discovered” a homeless street musician’s stashed belongings in the 800 block of Front St., by the Giant Chessboard. Logs indicated a red bike trailer with a guitar case and amplifier inside was confiscated on this — the day… the mu-sic died…

• Aug. 9: Two cars went boom at 3:40 p.m. at Greenwood and LaJolla. No injuries reported. Then at 5:53 p.m. on the Main Street Hwy 1 off ramp, two more cars tried to occupy the same space at the same time with expected results. Again, no injuries reported.

• Aug. 9: Police contacted a woman, 49, in the 1100 block of Allesandro who had two bench warrants. The scofflaw was taken to see the judge.

• Aug. 9: Police responded at 12:50 a.m. to a disturbance in the 300 block of Zanzibar. Logs indicated both the Bickersons were shellacked, so this round was declared a draw.

• Aug. 8: A gent in the 900 block of Main said some sneaky thief snuck all the money out of his wallet.

• Aug. 8: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 6:40 p.m. at Piney and Kennedy. The 58-year-old woman driver was arrested for suspicion of driving high on drugs and possessing a hypodermic syringe that still had suspected methamphetamine in it. She was mainlined into County Jail.

• Aug. 8: Police contacted a suspicious woman at 11:25 a.m. in the 200 block of MBB. She was allegedly UTI and went TCJ.

• Aug. 8: Police responded at 4:23 a.m. to a disturbance in the 500 block of Atascadero Rd. A 58-year-old apparent hellion was arrested for suspicion of being a tad sissified.

• Aug. 7: Police contacted a man, 25, in the 600 block of Embarcadero who had a misdemeanor arrest warrant. He was cited and released apparently under the new catch-and-release, feel-good, don’t-pay-bail, everybody’s-a-victim, namby-pamby-ism.

• Aug. 7: Police contacted a young woman, 20, at 2 p.m. in the 300 block of Dunbar and arrested her for suspicion of being UTI and possession of drugs, as she was apparently left holding the bag.

• Aug. 7: Police stopped a suspicious car at Ridgeway and Arbutus out at 2:03 a.m. a sure sign of criminality in this town. The 37-year-old driver was popped for the unholy trinity — suspicion of DUI-on drugs, driving on a suspended and drug possession.

• Aug. 6: Police responded at 9 p.m. to a disturbance in the 2900 block of Alder. Logs indicated they arrested a 58-year-old fellow for suspicion of being pickled.

• Aug. 6: A man in the 500 block of LaJolla said someone stole construction tools and a tool box out of the back of his work truck, not a very neighborly thing to do.

Pismo Beach

• Aug. 21: Police were unable to locate three apparent litterbugs parked on Price who were leaving trash around.

• Aug. 21: A 10-year-old child left alone in a trailer at the Welcome Center at the Outlets was not a welcome sight. The parents of the year were located.

• Aug. 21: A man and a woman did a dine and dash at Denny’s for about $34.

• Aug. 21: Extra patrols were requested in the alley behind CVS from 2 to 3 a.m. due to loud noises.

• Aug. 21: A man armed with a large knife at the Shell station reportedly took a medical marijuana delivery from the caller and then slashed his tires, as he’s apparently one toke over the line.

• Aug. 21: A man, who had been drinking, and a woman got into and argument on the 200 block of Harlo. The guy was on the front porch and got verbal with officers before going inside, slamming the door and closing the curtains. He then went upstairs and was yelling out the window. He refused to let officers in but opened the curtains to show that the woman and children had gone.

• Aug. 20: Kids were reportedly playing on a bridge on Price Canyon and running into traffic. Police determined that they were on private property and there was no hazard.

• Aug. 20: It’s that time of year. A caller reported that traffic was backed up to the intersection of Wadsworth due to parents picking up students from school.

• Aug. 19: A caller on the 200 block of Leeward reported a dog locked in a car all night. The dog seemed fine when police checked on it.

• Aug. 19: A report of an unconscious woman on the patio at Zorro’s was turned over to Cal Fire.

• Aug. 19: A woman, who couldn’t handle her liquor, was puking in the parking lot next to Willow. Cal Fire was called in.

• Aug. 18: A fight broke out at Harry’s bar & fight club. All parties were separated and no injuries were reported.

• Aug. 19: Some guests, who overstayed their welcome, refused to leave the restaurant patio at the Cliff’s They changed their mind when police became involved.

• Aug. 19: Police were called into help evict a troublesome man and woman staying at the Holiday RV Park.

• Aug. 19: A caller on the 900 block of Delano reported a man in his 60s with and open container in a vehicle. The caller said it was an ongoing problem and that the guy drives up and down the street honking his horn. The caller reported that the old sot had been drinking wine earlier in the day. Everything checked out okay.

• Aug. 19: Two dudes near the pier got arrested for being drunk in public.

• Aug. 19: A man, who had been drinking was yelling and cussing in the lobby of the Shore Cliff Lodge. He was escorted back to his room where he hopefully slept it off.

• Aug. 19: A woman on Wadsworth at Dolliver was sitting in her car with the key in the ignition and blaring music. She was nailed for being hammered.

San Luis Obispo

• Aug. 23: Police were called at 6:46 a.m. to the 2200 block of Lawton where two trespassing transient squatters had pitched camp in a driveway, a case of the meek might stand to inherit the earth, but by God you can’t loiter at the Church of Christ.

• Aug. 23: A woman called police at 6:26 a.m. from the 3100 block of Estrada and said her ex-husband was in the house in violation of an apparently useless restraining order.

• Aug. 23: Police made an apparent donut run to the 700 block of Foothill to deal with an unwanted fellow hanging around outside the SLO Donut Co., at 6:12 a.m. They were dispatched within 2 minutes and arrived within 4, (how’s that for service!). The apparent Cookie Monster wasn’t arrested and the call was over 5 minutes later.

• Aug. 23: Police contacted an apparent swizzle stick at 1:45 a.m. in the Wells Fargo Bank lot on Marsh. The 27-year-old all star was arrested for suspicion of being zig-zagged.

• Aug. 23: Police were called at 1:40 a.m. to the 500 block of Higuera after some hammered fellow was bounced from Spike’s by the bouncers but was hanging around out back.

• Aug. 23: At 1:36 a.m. someone reported a guy with a gash on his head at Sacramento and Richard. At 1:17 a.m. in the 900 block of Higuera police were notified of an uncouth fellow passed out on a bench outside Urbane Café.

• Aug. 23: Someone called police at 1:04 a.m. from the 3500 block of Broad and said there was a noise they can’t describe coming from Cole Chrysler Dodge. No report was done, as police apparently couldn’t describe it either.

• Aug. 23: At 12:35 a.m. police were called because some tadpoles were croakin’ up a fuss at the Frog & Peach Pub.

• Aug. 22: A woman called at 11:57 p.m. from Chorro and Higuera and said some blasted fellows spilt alcohol in her car and threw a glass out the window. She was gone when officers arrived to teach the dinguses a lesson.

• Aug. 22: Police were called at 11:13 p.m. to the 700 block of Higuera after someone complained about some apparent Beatnik beating his bongos outside the Moon River Barber Shop.

• Aug. 22: Police were called at 9:21 p.m. to the Creekside MHP on Higuera where some fooliot was yelling, no doubt mad for being ignored.

• Aug. 22: Some apparently Chicken Little citizen called at 8:21 p.m. from Higuera at Prado and said there was a dog loose in the road! Oddly enough 5 minutes before that call came in, police contacted a suspicious man and woman regarding a reported robbery at Higuera and Prado. A 29-year-old man was arrested for suspicion of robbery and assault with a deadly weapon. A 31-year-old woman was arrested for suspicion of robbery. Both Bungle and Clod were caged but cagey Fido gave ‘em the slip.

• Aug. 22: Police were called at 8 p.m. to Meadow Park because two transient fellows were cooking something on a table by the wooden bridge. Police apparently decided there’s no crime in that.

• Aug. 22: At 9:48 p.m. police were summoned to Mission Plaza for a reported alcohol infused disturbance. Some juvenile delinquent was arrested for resisting arrest and minor in possession.

• Aug. 22: Police were called at 6 p.m. to the 1200 block of Monterey, where some transient pothead was smoking pot behind the Pottery Shop.

• Aug. 22: Police were called at 4:22 p.m. to the 200 block of Madonna for some irate customer who got a wrong order at McDonald’s. At the same time they got panic alarms from McDonald’s office and a personal pendant. In an unrelated case, at 2:50 p.m. in the 800 block of Higuera, another apparently really pi**ed customer outside Pizza Solo was screaming profanity and refusing to leave the Downtown Center Shopping Center.

• Aug. 22: A woman called at 2:30 p.m. from Toro and Pismo and said a man has been standing on the corner for several hours. He was of course gone when police arrived.

• Aug. 22: Police were called at 2:13 p.m. to a store in the 200 block of Madonna after some sneaky thief put on a pair of new shoes and walked out the door.

• Aug. 22: Police got a 9-1-1 hang-up call at 2:06 p.m. from the 3400 block of Empresa at Advantage Answering Plus. Upon callback there was no answer.

• Aug. 22: Police were called at 1:13 p.m. to a disturbance in the 100 block of Higuera. A man and a woman were arguing outside SLO Beverage N More, no surprise there.

• Aug. 22: A citizen called from Whole Foods on Froom Ranch Road to report a black Porsche 911S was parked “straddling a handicapped space,” a hanging offense in these parts. The call was canceled because the parking monster left. In an unrelated case, at 11:12 a.m. in the 3100 block of Broad, someone reported a guy leaving the Chevron station and there were open beer cans inside the vehicle. And in perhaps the most sinister report to date, someone in the 500 block of Islay reported a car parked 3-feet from the curb by a stop sign for the past several days.

• Aug. 22: Someone called 9-1-1 at 8:34 a.m. from the 1000 block of Southwood to report there are two bikes down in the creek behind the YMCA, in this week’s example of why we need SWAT.

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