Police Blotter

October 1 – 21

Arroyo Grande
• Oct. 21: Watch those $100’s y-all. Two were passed at the Mobil station on Grand.
• Oct. 21: Police were called to Starbucks concerning a woman making a ruckus. She was arrested for driving under the influence of more than a double-shot of espresso with soy foam and a dash of chocolate powder.
• Oct. 21: During a traffic stop, a driver was found to be under the influence and in possession of suspected methamphetamine.
• Oct. 20: A woman who had moved out of a place on the 100 block of Wood Pl., was back and refusing to leave. She was found to be in violation of a criminal protective order and was busted.
• Oct. 19: There was insufficient evidence to support a woman’s claim that a palm tree and a bench were stolen from in front of her residence on Brighton. Must be the case of the missing hole.
• Oct. 15: You have to know when to say “enough…” A man stopped for reckless driving on the 1100 block of Branch was of course found to be under the influence of alcohol. To make matters worse, he resisted arrest by banging his head on the patrol car and spitting on an officer.

Morro Bay
• Oct. 14: Some ratfink stole surfboards at Morro Rock.
• Oct. 14: Police responded at 11:467 a.m. for a car crash at Quintana and MBB in that infernal Roundabout.
• Oct. 13: Police contacted at familiar fellow at 10:56 p.m. at some undisclosed location in town. Logs indicated the 22-year old was nicked for allegedly being higher than the stacks on drugs.
• Oct. 13: Police responded at 1:42 p.m. to a house of God in the 400 block of Piney Way where some sinner stole a purse from the church rummage sale, as someone apparently wants to go straight to Hell.
• Oct. 13: Police responded at noon to Harbor Street at City Park for some ruckus. Logs indicated a 53-year-old bent fellow was so drunk he was pounding on the side of a bus and thinking he might still get a ride.
• Oct. 13: Police towed away an offensive red scooter with no license parked too long on Birch.
• Oct. 13: Police responded at 10 a.m. to the 500 block of Main where an elderly citizen checked out permanently from the Morro Del Mar Senior Apartments.
• Oct. 12: Police are investigating some undisclosed narcotics case in the 3200 block of Main at the Allan Arm Apartments.
• Oct. 12: Police contacted a familiar filly at 4:35 p.m. at Main and Surf. Logs indicated the 44-year-old rascal had three bench warrants and she was shuffled of to Buffalo.
• Oct. 12: A woman on Shasta Avenue told police “she was inappropriately touched by known subject” while she was “undergoing physical therapy” as #MeToo gains another victim. Detectives will follow up on the case.
• Oct. 12: Police arrested a 64-year-old louse for abuse of his spouse, and took him to the big house.
• Oct. 12: At 8:26 a.m. officials at Morro Bay High School reported a possible case of someone making threats against people at the school. Police documented the matter and had an extra presence at that night’s Homecoming football game, too. But it was apparently, thankfully, a hoax.
• Oct. 12: Sometime overnight, some slime ball broke a car window in the 400 block of Atascadero Rd., and stole a fellow’s wallet that he foolishly left in the car.
• Oct. 11: Once again some anarchist scoundrel got into a City owned truck and stole some unidentified taxpayers’ property while the truck was parked down on the Embarcadero. The usual wharf rats are likely suspected.
• Oct. 11: Police responded at 10:30 p.m. to Kodiak for a domestic disturbance. Logs indicated police arrested a 55-year-old grizzly louse for alleged battery of his spouse.
• Oct. 11: Police and fire responded at 2:30 p.m. to Morro Bay Blvd., and Main for a car crack-up. Logs stated, “TRAFFIC COLLISION NEG INJURY.”
• Oct. 11: Police documented a strange but not totally unexpected report of “remains recovered while excavating on the beach,” at the project to remove undersea loading pipes, as the power plant continues to unleash its mysteries.
• Oct. 11: A citizen in the 2400 block of Main told police that an unknown ruffian tried to extort money from him through lies and when that didn’t work, by threats of violence. Police made note of it.
• Oct. 10: Police responded at 8:30 p.m. to Tognazzini’s Dockside Restaurant on the Embarcadero, where a woman said some sneak thief stole her purse. No word on whether it was before or after she paid for dinner.
• Oct. 10: Some unknown graffidiot tagged the restrooms at Cloister’s Park.
• Oct. 10: Police tried to stop a suspicious vehicle at 1:15 a.m. on Main Street. Logs indicated the woman driver apparently tried to take off but eventually stopped, as she was arrested for suspicion of resisting arrest, evading a police officer and driving on a suspended, which explains a lot.
• Oct. 8: At 6:10 p.m. police responded to a reported assault, at an undisclosed location in town, where they arrested a 56-year-old Squit for suspicion of resisting arrest and being piflicated in public.
• Oct. 8: Someone found a wallet with ID inside at Morro Rock and turned it over to police. On the other hand a citizen in the 2800 block of Ironwood had his or her identity stolen and the racketeer took out a loan in their name.
• Oct. 8: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 3:30 p.m. in the 900 block of MBB and the all star driver was arrested for suspicion of being high and schmammered behind the wheel.
• Oct. 8: Someone turned in a firearm for police to destroy.
• Oct. 8: Some poor schmoe had the license plate stolen off his or her car parked in the 1100 block of Embarcadero and now they’re sentenced to death at the DMV.
• Oct. 2: Police responded at 11:15 a.m. to the 300 block of Pico for a report of threats and brandishing a deadly weapon.
• Oct. 2: Police took a late report of sexual battery that allegedly occurred Sept. 21. A report was sent to the D.A. for charges.
• Oct. 2: A regular customer turned herself in at the police station, as the 55-year-old scofflaw had five bench warrants.
• Oct. 2: An innocent vehicle parked in the 1100 block of Embarcadero outside GAFCo., was vandalized sometime overnight.
• Oct. 1: Police took a missing person report in the 800 block of Pacific.
• Oct. 1: At 3:50 p.m. police documented a general incident for information only on some undisclosed suspicious incident — ah, transparency, ain’t it grand?
• Oct. 1: Police took a report of an alleged assault in the 500 block of Avalon.

Pismo Beach
• Oct. 16: Scam alert: Someone received an email telling them to pay $3,000 or their email information would be sent to everyone on the scammer’s list.
• Oct. 16: Police were called to help with an rebellious anarchist staying at the Ocean Palms Motel who was smoking in a non-smoking room and refused to comply with the rules.
• Oct. 16: A caller reported two men on the 300 block of Main were threatening him and throwing chairs at him when they were being evicted from a Coastal Rental property.
• Oct. 16: Medics were called to the 1700 block of Shell Beach Rd., after a caller reported that someone had been guzzling hooch and was flat on the floor of a business.
• Oct. 16: Three wallets and two pairs of sunglasses were stolen from Coach. Two women took off in a car with a male driver. Meanwhile at California Fresh, personal items and a helping at the salad bar were stolen.
• Oct. 15: Police were unable to locate a fox that reportedly chased a couple walking their dog near the entrance to North Beach by Pismo Coast Village.
• Oct. 15: A woman at the Beach House Inn was bugging people by yelling about a man who stole her money. She was given the boot.
• Oct. 14: Some poor slob got so hammered he passed out in a hallway at the Cliff’s. He was turned over to a responsible party.
• Oct. 14: The Lorax called to report that some people were cutting down city trees at the end of San Luis. They were advised to stop until they had proper notification from the City.
• Oct. 14: Extra patrols were requested on the 1200 block of Cypress in the evening hours concerning a man who jumps the fence and hangs out on a patio. Speaking of hanging out, he also reportedly urinated on the building.
• Oct. 14: Extra patrols were requested on the 300 block of Palomar for a man sitting in the caller’s sister-in-law’s car. Nothing appeared to be stolen.
• Oct. 14: A large group of kids with a large amount of alcohol were reported at Dinosaur Caves Park. Everything checked out okay and no alcohol was found.
• Oct. 14: Two males dined and dashed at Denny’s. They ended up coming back and paying the bill.
• Oct. 12: A caller on the 700 block of Vista Pacifica reported sprinklers being on for 4 hours. The caller didn’t know if anyone was home. The sprinklers where turned off.
• Oct. 12: A woman urinated in front of Guess at the Outlet Center and then proceeded to brush her teeth. She was a tourist apparently from some boorish country where public urination is encouraged.
• Oct. 12: A caller on the 300 block of Porter arrived home to find a disoriented woman with an open container sitting in front of her residence.

San Luis Obispo
• Oct. 18: At 6 a.m. someone in the Marsh Street parking garage asked police to check the welfare after they heard someone doing something for some unknown reason, a.k.a. a San Looney felony.
• Oct. 18: Someone at Embassy Suites called at 5:25 a.m. because he or she found a Rite Aid bag filled with clothing and a stash of the evil weed, which the police of course won’t give back.
• Oct. 18: A citizen in the 1100 block of Foothill called police at 4 a.m., because some ding-a-ling played dong-dong-ditch four times in the past few minutes.
• Oct. 18: Police were called at 1:12 a.m. to the 700 block of Higuera for a suspicious devil at Heavenly Couture.
• Oct. 18: At 1:19 a.m. a motorcyclist called police from the 1000 block of Olive and said he was about to hit the highway when he hit a traffic lane marker crashing his bike and hitting the pavement instead.
• Oct. 18: Dispatch got an apparent 9-1-1 butt dial at 1:22 a.m. from the 900 block of Monterey. Nothing but music could be heard over the line. In an unrelated matter, someone called at 12:26 a.m. from the 200 block of California and said a car alarm was going off on a vehicle that just drove by.
• Oct. 17: Someone in the 300 block of Christina reported a loud party at 11:03 p.m., but it was not a violation as it was apparently sufficiently boring.
• Oct. 17: Someone reported a tan RV parked in the 1000 block of Montalban at 10:19 p.m. with a bunch of trash strewn about. Some nomadic pigpen’s night was pipped at the post and he got tossed in the clink for a warrant.
• Oct. 17: At 9:42 p.m. in the 300 block of Santa Rosa next to Jack in the Box, someone asked police to check the welfare of a man laying on the sidewalk with a pillow.
• Oct. 17: At 9:30 p.m. at Cuesta and Cerro Romauldo, someone reported a white male transient with white hair wearing dark clothes going through the recycle bins. Raggedy man escaped.
• Oct. 17: A woman called at 8:45 p.m. from the Las Delicías Apartamentes, 12300 block of LOVR, and said her car alarm went off and she ran out to find a window smashed by some unseen fiend. Police started a report.
• Oct. 17: At 8 p.m. a woman in the 2200 block of Emily told police she’d gotten into a fight with her 17-year-old daughter but the apparent hellion has calmed down now.
• Oct. 17: Police responded at 7:42 p.m. to a report of a transient man who’d apparently run out of gas and passed out on the side of the Chevron.
• Oct. 17: Someone apparently crashed into an outdoor staircase at the Park Highland Apartments on Augusta.
• Oct. 17: A citizen in the 1900 block of Oceanaire asked for extra patrols in the neighborhood because her house backs up to the creek and that’s where those homeless people like to camp.
• Oct. 17: An apparently offended citizen called at 5:15 p.m. from Santa Rosa Park and reported some boorish zhlub had just urinated by the children’s playground and still had his knickers down ‘round he’s knees.
• Oct. 17: Police got a 9-1-1 call at 4:11 p.m. from a man on Prado Road who said he believes he sees bones in the concrete at the Bob Jones Trailhead.
• Oct. 17: At 3:49 p.m. police were called regarding a near-miss pedestrian vs. vehicle accident, where the pedestrian took off and the woman driver wanted it documented that she tried to stop him.
• Oct. 17: Police were called at 3:15 p.m. to the Damon Garcia sports fields because five transient squits were blocking the sidewalk.
• Oct. 17: Police were called at 3:11 p.m. to the 700 block of Higuera because some dingus was screaming gibberish down in the creek behind Novo.
• Oct. 17: Police responded to the 1000 block of Broad at Shift Hair salon where some disoriented lady said she couldn’t find her car.
• Oct. 17: Home Depot reported at 1:52 p.m. that a shoplifter just ran from the store and was rushing towards TJ Maxx.
• Oct. 17: At 12:21 p.m. a citizen called from the 1600 block of Fairview to complain about high school hot rods spinning donuts in a vacant dirt lot, in this week’s example of why we need SWAT.
• Oct. 17: At 11 a.m. someone reported a man whizzing in the bushes at Conserve Fuel on Santa Rosa, a violation of the muni codes of decency.
• Oct. 17: Police were called to the Delta Sigma Phi Frat house in the 200 block of California for a reported burglary, but the call was canceled and the victim said he’d come to the station house, can’t have the police sniffing around the crib now can we?
• Oct. 17: At 10:45 a.m. police responded to a disturbed transient fellow in the 300 block of Santa Rosa yelling at passing cars and customers outside Lombard’s Stereo.
• Oct. 17: At 10 a.m. in the 800 block of Industrial a woman was reportedly yelling at herself.
• Oct. 17: A woman called at 9:42 a.m. from Rabobank on Broad and told police that a customer’s ex-husband is harassing her.
• Oct. 17: At 9:26 a.m. someone complained about 8-10 transient men and women drinking hooch and whooping it up. Police cited them, so they’re in trouble now!
• Oct. 17: A citizen in the 1100 block of Olive told police that some transient swine has been pinchin’ a lobe right outside of his house apparently for the past several days.

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