Police Blotter

September 17 – October 6

Arroyo Grande

• Oct. 6: Another shoplifter was nabbed at Rite Aide. She also had drug paraphilia on her. Meanwhile, on the 1100 block of Branch, some other apparent sticky fingers was found in possession of stolen items from area businesses.

• Oct. 5: Some pour soul was swindled out of nearly $12,000 as part of an online “romance scam,” because love stinks, don’t ya know.

• Oct. 3: There was insufficient evidence to support claims that three bank accounts belonging to the same person were drained.

• Oct. 2: “Copious” amounts of marijuana in plain sight was reported in a home with children on Bakeman. Well, the street name is appropriate.

• Oct. 6: An adult woman was arrested for being under the influence of something on the 500 block of Platino.


Pismo Beach

• Oct. 1: Loud noises were reported at 1 a.m. on the 100 block of Whitecap where someone wearing a white shirt was reportedly lurking in the bushes. It turned out the noise was the person who lived at the home who was unloading luggage. No word on the person in the bushes.

• Oct. 1: Police were unable to locate a transient reportedly peeping in windows on the 900 block of Price.

• Oct. 1: Someone carrying a cup of coffee at the rear of Cypress Landing reportedly threw it at a vehicle. He was advised not to throw liquid at cars, and he said he would move on.

• Oct. 1: A woman reported unknown suspects stalking her and hacking into her phone and her car. She said it was an ongoing problem.

• Oct. 1: A man at Point Break was reportedly harassing an employee, who might have been drinking and had been asked to leave. He was advised against trespassing.

• Oct. 1: A woman on the 200 block of Five Cities Drive reported hearing smoke alarms in a mobile home near her. She went to check and didn’t see or smell any smoke, but no one was home to verify. The alarm had been an old one that was left in a trashcan during a construction project.

• Sept. 29: A caller on the 400 block of Oceanview reported that a man and woman were arguing in a home where a woman lived alone. She was heard yelling, “Stop it.” Both parties said it was only a verbal dispute.

• Sept. 29: A male and female decided to outfit themselves for free during a stealing spree at the Outlet Center. Items from Guess, Calvin Klein, and Bass were found in their car.

• Sept. 29: A motion burglar alarm sounding in a home on the 200 block of Princsea was the result of balloons floating around the house.

• Sept. 29: A man was reportedly inside Penny’s All American Café and told someone that he was afraid. He was turned over to his girlfriend and given information about resources for mental health issues.

• Sept. 28: How now was a brown cow wondering in a parking lot on Rancho Pismo Drive? Responsible parties were called to take the bovine home.

• Sept. 28: A caller reported that his or her 11-year-old son was assaulted by two juvenile ruffians outside Shell Beach Elementary.

• Sept. 28: Police were unable to locate a man reportedly exposing himself in a stall in the women’s bathroom by the pier.

• Sept. 28: A caller reported someone on the 900 block of Hanford selling food and other items out of a car. He was advised not to do that.

• Sept. 28: Two people reportedly entered a neighbor’s yard on the 200 block of Cliff. The homeowner said that no one should be there. It turned out to be a neighbor’s car in the driveway that was there with permission. They had walked into their own home not the one they were parked front of.

Morro Bay

• Sept. 30: Someone found prescription medicine in the 800 block of Morro Bay Blvd., a no doubt unforeseen consequence of Obamacare.

• Sept. 30: Police responded to the 1200 block of Embarcadero at 1:48 p.m. after some chiseler fraudulently bought a kayak. In another bout with honesty, someone in the 500 block of Main said some cyber-scoundrel hijacked his or her credit card account.

• Sept. 29: The theft fest continued as someone used the help-yourself line at Albertson’s and someone also reported the theft of cash and credit cards out of a vehicle, but logs didn’t say where, so you might be safe where you are.

• Sept. 28: Two cars collided at 12:45 p.m. at Hwy 41 and Main. No reported injuries, but the cars will never be the same.

• Sept. 28: Someone gave police a cell phone they found, and police found the owner, and the caze is sol-ved!

• Sept. 26: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 5 minutes past the 10 p.m. town curfew and logs said a 34-year-old all star was arrested for suspicion of DUI-drugs. She was injected into the hoosegow.

• Sept. 26: Police responded at 12:33 p.m. to the 700 block of Quintana to assist another agency with a reported case of assault and false imprisonment. At virtually the same time, another officer across the street picked up some little squit hanging out at Albertson’s for a misdemeanor warrant.

• Sept. 26: Two cars collided at 11:58 a.m. at Harbor Street and Piney Way, which is in front of the fire department. No injuries reported. Then at 12:49 p.m. two other cars collided at Anchor and Main streets. No injuries reported there either.

• Sept. 25: A citizen in the 700 block of Alta Ct., reported losing $2,000 in a telephone and computer scam. Police took a report and arrests are no doubt imminent. And talk about having the ol’ twig & berries, someone wrote hot checks to City Hall.

• Sept. 24: MBPD officer No. F2780 had quite a day. At 11:58 a.m. he or she responded to the 900 block of Anchor for a report of “theft by use of gift card,” and at 2:45 p.m. they responded to a report of a disturbed man making threats. Logs indicates an apparently irate fellow was arrested for allegedly brandishing a weapon, making criminal death threats, challenging an officer to a fight and of course resisting arrest when the challenge was apparently answered. The disagreeable Zhlub was tossed to the nick.

• Sept. 24: At 11:23 a.m. at Quintana and La Loma, police stopped a suspicious vehicle driven by a familiar face. The woman driver, 30, was arrested for suspicion of driving zooted on a suspended license.

• Sept. 22: Someone in the 1200 block of Main found a handgun and shot it right over to police.

• Sept. 22: Police responded at 9:53 a.m. to the Morro Rock parking lot where some brazen thief smashed a car window and stole a backpack with undisclosed treasures inside.

• Sept. 22: Police were called at 3 a.m. to the North T-pier in the 1200 block of Embarcadero for a noise complaint. Some loud, krunked fellow was arrested for UTI.

• Sept. 21: Police contacted a suspicious man at 9:30 p.m. in the 700 block of Quintana and arrested the suspected schnockered fellow for UTI and then called his probation officer when he refused “to submit to chemical testing,” and so of course a probation violation was added in furtherance of his fall from Grace

• Sept. 21: Some ninny vandalized a mini storage locker in the 2100 block of Main.

• Sept. 21: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle out at the suspect time of 2:08 a.m. at Kennedy Way and Piney Way, the northeastern corner of the downtown danger zone. The driver was nipped and released for a suspended license but a passenger, 31, had two arrest warrants and the scofflaw was checked into the Parkinson Plaza.

• Sept. 20: Someone turned in a firearm for destruction that they were aiming to be rid of.

• Sept. 20: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 7:20 p.m. in the 900 block of MBB, no doubt on some trumped up code violation. The driver, 24, had a suspended license and a warrant and got booked into jail for his boggles.

• Sept. 20: An innocent vehicle was vandalized in the 1300 block of Bolton.

• Sept. 19: Police contacted another suspicious chap, 46, at 3:42 p.m. in Morro Bay State Park. He too had a warrant and was arrested.

• Sept. 19: Two more cars collided at 11:24 a.m. in the 1000 block of Main. Again, no injuries.

• Sept. 19: Police contacted a suspicious man, 50, in the 2800 block of Alder at 5:32 p.m. who had an out-of-county warrant. Upon searching the rogue, they allegedly found methamphetamine on his person and added that to his woes.

• Sept. 18: A man with the same name as above but listed as 48-years old was contacted at 11:33 p.m. in the 1700 block of Embarcadero. He had two warrants and possessed suspected paraphernalia but was cited and released, apparently not worth the gas of a trip to County Jail.

• Sept. 18: Police responded at 4 p.m. to a disturbance at Ironwood and Avalon. Logs indicated they arrested the apparently bent fellow, 56, for public inebriation.

• Sept. 17: Some citizen came down to the station house and reported a theft. Police did a report and passed the buck up to the D.A.

• Sept. 17: Someone found a California license plate, and someone else found a bicycle and police have them both now.

• Sept. 17: At 10:46 a.m. at Shasta and Kennedy Way police contacted an apparently creepy dude and arrested him for a probation violation. According to logs, the 62-year old was not supposed to be “within 2,000 feet of a school where children are present.”

• Sept. 17: Police contacted a suspicious man, 52, at 12:57 a.m. at City Park in the 700 block of MBB. The rascal had a warrant out of San Berdoo but was just cited and released.

San Luis Obispo

• Oct. 4: At 5:49 a.m. someone on Tanglewood reported a downed tree.

• Oct. 4: Someone called at 5 a.m. and asked police to check the welfare of someone in the 1700 block of Santa Barbara and to have her call him.

• Oct. 4: Starting at 4:23 a.m. police towed a Toyota Tacoma, a VW Jetta, a Chevy Impala, a Honda CRV and a Toyota Avalon from the SLO Student Living complex on Foothill, where an apparent crackdown has occurred. At 4:39, someone in the 500 block of Hathway complained about a silver Honda Accord blocking a fire hydrant. At 4:35 a.m. someone reported a silver Honda MDX parked blocking the bike lane at Stenner and Murray. And at 4:04 a.m. in the 1300 block of Monterey, a transient man was parked in the street blocking traffic.

• Oct. 4: Someone called at 1:22 a.m. from Walnut and Chorro to report a schnockered woman was upchucking on the side of the road.

• Oct. 4: At 1:15 a.m. at High and Higuera, someone reported that a man slapped a woman across the face and then took off in a van.

• Oct. 4: Someone called at 1:10 a.m. from the 1400 block of Morro to report some liquored-up sourpuss was sitting on the sidewalk sucking from a bottle of hooch and then threw the pint bottle. The Zhlub was gone when they got there.

• Oct. 4: Someone at Southwood and Woodside complained at 12:55 a.m. about two knot heads stumbling about and being loud. They got away.

• Oct. 4: A citizen in the 3000 block of Johnson told police that she heard a car slam on the brakes and now it’s parked facing the wrong direction, a hanging offense in these parts.

• Oct. 3: A citizen called at 11:30 p.m. from the 200 block of Santa Rosa and said there was a Hispanic man peering into apartment windows at Mustang Village. The Peeping Pépe got away.

• Oct. 3: A citizen in the first block of Chorro called at 10:42 p.m. to report a suspicious person sitting in a car parked suspiciously sideways that appears to be eying the neighborhood.

• Oct. 3: At 10:42 p.m. someone reported a suspiciously joyous fellow dancing in the parking lot outside Rm. 153 at Motel 6.

• Oct. 3: A couple of ruffian Peanuts got into it at Woodstock’s in the 1000 block of Higuera.

• Oct. 3: A glass-break alarm sounded at 10:14 p.m. in the 800 block of Higuera. Logs indicated it was a malarm at the Apple Store, where burglaries usually happen in broad daylight.

• Oct. 3: Police responded at 8:18 p.m. to Vons in the Marigold Center on Broad for a pesky transient man loitering outside the store who just took a whiz on the sidewalk. No report done. Then at 9:48 they returned for a disorderly fellow and a 56-year-old train wreck was treated for a head injury and arrested for resisting arrest.

• Oct. 3: At 9:44 p.m. a guy called from the 500 block of Hathway and said he and his brother just got home and the screen was pulled off their front window.

• Oct. 3: At 9:38 p.m. in the 1500 block of Royal, a woman called police and said she was home alone and the video camera on the apartment doorbell showed two strange men walk past her door.

• Oct. 3: At 9:26 p.m. in the 2100 block of Broad someone said a car alarm on a Toyota Tacoma had been sounding for an hour outside Chili Peppers.

• Oct. 3: At 8:10 p.m. someone reported various power tools scattered around at Prefumo Canyon Road and LOVR. In another traffic hazard, at 9:44 an apparent stumblebum was reportedly falling down drunk at Higuera and Nipomo.

• Oct. 3: At Peach and Nipomo someone reported a light foam oozing out of a sewer pipe and flowing down to the creek. Police turned that crap over to public works.

• Oct. 3: At 4:58 p.m. in the 2000 block of Harris, a guy said some butt-toasted driver crashed into his car and he’s trying to leave the scene.

• Oct. 3: Two transient men were aggressively panhandling outside Rite Aid on Johnson and got saucy with the management when asked to leave.

• Oct. 3: Some unwelcomed interloper was causing unhappiness at Happy Nails Salon in the 3900 block of Higuera. He took off before police arrived.

• Oct. 3: Yet another potential speed bump was in and out of traffic yelling at people at Marsh and Chorro. The polluted palooka, 68, was tossed to the nick for being forshnicked.

• Oct. 3: Someone stole a blue Sonders bicycle from Mustang Village.

• Oct. 3: A guy in a 5 Cities Plumbing van called in a vehicle burglary at Costco.

• Oct. 3: Police were called at 1:08 p.m. to the 1400 block of Calle Joaquin for a pesky transient who has been on and off the Alfano Motors property three times today, as he apparently ain’t about to buy what they be selling.

• Oct. 3: A woman at Marigold Center on Broad called 9-1-1 because some dingus parked so close she couldn’t get in her car, in this week’s example of why we need SWAT.

• Oct. 3: Police were twice called to the 800 block of Higuera because the same five transients were hanging around outside Chipotle’s and they’re smoking.

• Oct. 3: Someone at the City Yard told police they’d been called by a citizen who said there were several hooligans tampering with a Stop sign at Madonna and El Tigre.

• Oct. 3: Police responded to the Sinsheimer Elementary School Office to pick up some illegal drugs they’d found or confiscated — at an elementary school, in this week’s episode of “We’re not in Kansas anymore…”

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