Sports Shorts

Outed- This may be a different interpretation of the word, but O.J. Simpson is going to be outed from prison shortly.  After a nine-year stint in the pokey, essentially for armed robbery, “The Juice” just squeezed by at his recent parole board hearing and walks on October 1. If you happen to be in Florida after the first it’s advisable to steer clear of any character wearing Bruno Magli shoes and tight leather gloves after dark.

Two’s A Crowd- Is there enough basketball to go around for the Houston Rockets’ all-world point guard James Harden and newly-acquired Chris Paul, who deals from the same position? The Rockets are undisputedly Harden’s team and he runs that show at a breakneck pace while handling the ball approximately 75% of the time.

Chris Paul is a fierce competitor who thrives off driving the lane and dishing off for the assist, and equally needs high percentages of touches to be effective. And Paul has shown a poor attitude in the past when not being “the man” on previous teams. Pundits are salivating as to how this pairing evolves. Stay tuned.

Two’s A Crowd Part II- Adjective count: embarrassing, asinine, revolting, shameless, derogatory, awful, pointless, self-serving, and unnecessary. Enough already.

That four-city promotional jaunt by Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor for their August boxing bout was a real classless affair. Foul language and homophobic slurs dominated the exchanges between the two pugilists and added to the absurdity of the match. They acted like a couple of drunken street brawlers getting ready to duke it out at 2 a.m. in an alley behind some dive bar.

Yes, the mini-tour generated interest, but fell woefully short of convincing the public to throw down a hundred bucks to watch the debacle on pay-per-view, in my view. But people will pay. And people will be disappointed. Mayweather will likely dance inside the perimeter of the ring throughout the course of the bout as he is wont to do and shall eventually tire the Irish lad out and win by late knockout or majority decision.

You see, McGregor isn’t used to going 12 rounds since he comes over from the UFC which features matches lasting three rounds at five minutes per round, five rounds for championship match-ups. Buy at your own risk.

This is kind of an “I told you so” moment ahead of the action…or lack thereof!

A Slice- Well, maybe two. Recently took a solo roadie and stayed in a beautiful high rise featuring all of the amenities one can imagine. Here are a couple of things not to fall prey to while vacationing.

When you exit your bathroom shower and have finished toweling off and the skin on your face is clamoring for moisturization from being poolside for six straight hours do not inadvertently grab the tiny bottle of house hair conditioner and place contents on face. Just because the words are too small to read and the bottle is the spittin’ image of the other three in the lineup on the counter is no excuse. Blah!!

Additionally, while you are in their spa/fitness center running on the treadmill and have to use the toilet never, ever use the thin paper “gaskets” to be placed on the toilet seat while you are profusely sweating. Getting that puppy, er, Rottweiler off takes the likes of a Cirque du Soleil contortionist for extraction.

Lemme tell ya, the saying “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” didn’t hold true. A part of it went home with me. And I wrenched my back to boot.

– By Michael Elliott

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