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Sports Shorts

Tight Shorts- Since the sports smorgasbord is so plentiful these days thought it might be a hoot to compartmentalize subject matter into smallish paragraphs. If the tight little shorts to follow have you aflutter, feel free to readjust your disposition. Hands are optional.

How refreshing to see 24-year-old American Sloane Stephens roll thru the competition on her way to the U.S. Open Tennis Women’s Championship. Sloane’s countenance throughout the event was remarkable as she buoyed the hopes of American women tennis hopefuls who, other than Serena Williams, have taken a backseat to foreign players. These young-uns are a very tight group.

The Heisman Trophy race got off to a spectacular start as UCLA’s Josh Rosen torched Hawaii by going 22 for 25, accumulating 329 aerial yards and tossing 5 td passes in the 56-23 rout. Reigning trophy winner Lamar Jackson out of Louisville cast his lot in the form of a 6-touchdown performance against North Carolina. It’s going to be a tight race as Oklahoma’s Baker Mayfield and USC’s Sam Darnold have unquestionably tossed their hats into the ring.

Controversy alert! Looks like tight competition between rookie placekicker Giorgio Tavecchio, who nailed four field goals in the Oakland Raiders’ season debut, and 15-year veteran Sebastian Janikowski, who looked on skittishly from the injured reserve list as Oakland opened with a statement-making victory over Tennessee. Tavecchio you say? With a name like that I thought maybe he was Fonzi’s cousin from “Happy Days” fame. You locals probably thought he was Al Fonzi’s cuz!

You don’t see many tight spirals down at the beaches or at the parks nowadays as soccer balls outnumber footballs 15-1 as the ball of choice.

Which National League team do you suppose is secretly piping Archie Bell and the Drells’ hit song “Tighten Up” into the clubhouse of the Los Angeles Dodgers? “Come on y’all, tighten up. You can do it now!” It’s certainly working.

Remember when “Swiss Miss” Martina Hingis was prowling the professional tennis circuit long ago on her way to five Grand Slam singles titles? A tight television shot of her at the recent Open revealed that she is still a formidable talent, albeit in doubles, as her and her partners just captured the women’s and mixed doubles titles for Martina’s 25th overall Slam title.

Oklahoma fans are once again able to jump on the OU bandschooner as the Sooners visited Columbus, Ohio and laid a beatin’ on the #2-ranked Ohio State Buckeyes. The Okie defense tightened the noose around the supposedly improved Buckeye offense as first-year OU coach Lincoln Riley, or is it Riley Lincoln, earned a major vote of confidence from the Oklahoma administration and fan base.

What a welcomed feel-good story it was a couple of weeks ago when LPGA golfer Stacy Lewis stated before the Cambia Portland Classic that she would donate her entire winnings from the tournament to the relief efforts in Houston, and then went out and won it! Her long-time golfing sponsor then matched Stacy’s $195,000 payday donation. That’s pretty tight. Bless you girl.

What up with the Cleveland Indians’ 19-game-and-counting winning streak? I’ll tell you what up: manager Terry Francona eschews running a tight ship and allows his players to govern themselves to a certain degree. The defending American League Champion Tribe came out of the blocks slowly to begin the season as it looked like the classic World Series hangover. They have definitely gathered their wits and are literally streaking to the front of the AL pack.

Have typed on into the night. Waistline seems a bit tight. Must exercise with all my might. For the walk, must feel right. Got to look outta sight…for my daughter, adorned in her dress of white. See you all in a fortnight.

Author’s Disclaimer: The items contained herein may seem a tad dated as this column was constructed earlier than normal with the scribe leaving the area prior to deadline. At times, as you can probably attest to, he has problems talking the talk. But his hopes are to walk the walk with dignity, and not tighten up, as he ushers his lovely daughter down the aisle.

 

By Michael Elliott

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